Allison Holker, widow of Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss, uncovered her husband’s struggle with drug addiction in a deeply unsettling moment just before his funeral (Exclusive)
After the death of her husband, Stephen «tWitch» Boss, in 2022, Allison Holker made a heartbreaking discovery that would forever alter her understanding of his struggles.
In the wake of his tragic passing by suicide at 40, Holker—who opens up about her own challenging childhood and healing journey in her memoir—found a hidden stash of drugs, including mushrooms, pills, and other substances she had to research, tucked away in shoeboxes.
Holker, 36, was cleaning out the closet with a close friend, picking out an outfit for the funeral, when she stumbled upon the alarming discovery. «It was a very triggering moment,» she recalls in an exclusive interview.
«I found so many things I didn’t know existed. It was shocking to learn how much he had been hiding.» The revelation was a terrifying moment, but it also allowed her to begin processing her husband’s pain.
«It helped me understand that he had been going through so much on his own, and there must have been a lot of shame surrounding it.»
Throughout their nine-year marriage, Holker had believed their communication was open, especially regarding his use of marijuana.
After their children went to bed, Boss would retreat to their guesthouse for some quiet time to smoke or drink. «That was his way to recharge, and I accepted it,» she says.
However, after Boss’s death, as Holker went through his journals in search of clarity, she uncovered secrets he had kept from even those closest to him.
Boss, who had hinted at childhood trauma, was clearly battling deep emotional pain. «He didn’t want anyone else to carry his burden because he loved everyone so much,» Holker explains.
Despite feeling a sense of betrayal, Holker developed a deeper empathy for her late husband as she read his journals.
«It gave me a new perspective on his struggles and the pain he was holding,» she reflects. «I felt sadness for what he went through.»
Holker is now sharing these intimate details in hopes of helping others facing similar battles. «It’s been hard putting the pieces together, but I want to help someone who’s struggling in silence,» she says.
«I want them to know that they’re not alone and that it’s okay to face the pain.» While Boss had acknowledged feeling down, he had been careful not to fully open up, leaving Holker with a deep sense of longing for him to have shared his struggles more openly.
